Courage to Fail

Last night we had last minute guests for dinner. It was a long time friend and his new girlfriend. Since it was Valentine’s Day and all the restaurants would be full, I knew we would have to eat in.

What could I throw together quickly in short notice? (I mean that pretty literally as time was of the essence and I didn’t want to run to the store.)

And what does this have to do with courage, you ask?

Let me tell you.

It takes courage to throw (remember, literally), together a meal for somebody, especially if you don’t know them. And it something I would not have been able to do in the not too distant past. You see, courage is something I have lacked for most of my life. Many of the people I know now would doubt that about me, but my long time friends remember me when.

-When I was so shy I dropped out of a class in college, and got an F for doing so, because I had to give an oral report. (Which I did, BTW, I just didn’t have the courage to share it with the class.)
- When meeting with somebody new I would assume they didn’t have time for me.
-When asked a question I would defer to anybody else, as long as I didn’t have to answer.
-When I wouldn’t offer assistance as I felt my contribution wouldn’t be good enough.
-When I wouldn’t apply for a show as I assumed in advance that I wouldn’t get in.
-When I believed that others were prettier, smarter, better at anything than I was.
-Etc.

So what changed?

Me, naturally.

And what changed me was failing. I didn’t sit in the corner and cry about it (though tears were indeed shed), I learned from each failure.

Often it was little tiny failures (such as a smoke alarm dinner), though there were some pretty big ones too, (like a less than stellar review). But I never ignored them. I learned from each of them what not to do next time.

Now, I’m not going to lie to you and say I love failing. No, not at all. But it doesn’t bother me so much anymore. Because if I had not failed, I would not be where I am today.

And that, I wouldn’t change for anything.

Have a great one!


Lest you think it's been all surgery and dinner guests for me, here is Cover Me a little further along on her path.

Cover Me, 48" x 36", Kim Radatz

P.S. Dinner was delicious! Company too.